“Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They should determine your priorities, and, deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.” (From mindtools.com)
Values help us “tick.” Your values are what is important to you vs not important.
When you identify your values, you learn what is truly essential in your life and what makes you feel fulfilled. Then you can take a stand and create choices that you find are most fulfilling to you.
When our values are met, we feel fulfilled and that our lives are going the way we want them to.
I believe meeting our values helps ground us, to help create peace or calm inside. When my values of connection, health/self-care, community and honouring those around me are met, I feel joy, a sense of well-roundedness, centred and supported.
When our values are NOT met, we feel incongruence in our lives. This can show up as tension, discord, a sense of selling yourself short, like your just “tolerating” life instead of being fulfilled. How many of us are just “tolerating” this pandemic right now? Let’s see how we can change it within our homes as we do the right thing to help flatten the curve.
Examples of Core Values:Authenticity, power, friendship, intimacy, connection, independence, freedom, learning, passion, excitement, fun, creativity, achievement, peace of mind, productivity, or service to others.
How to find your values:
Think about things that you would walk over broken glass for, or what you inherently need to tick.
Here are three things to help discover your values:
Look at what you spend your money and time on.
These are the things that you can justify buying or spending time on. Look at why you can justify it. Identify what it represents to you.
For example, if someone can justify spending money on dressing nicely for work, look at that deep meaning. It may be a sense of order/well dressed/integrity in their work/freedom. The core values are integrity, security, and freedom.
For another person, they may spend money on their chiropractor, naturopathic doctor, personal trainer, going out for dinner with friends/family, going on date night, going for coffee, or doing activities with co-workers. Health and connections are their core values.
Ask yourself, what makes you angry?
Injustice for others, lack of honesty, when something is not fair, or when people don’t treat others equally. These point to our values as well.
What can you not live without, and why?
A person may need to be active to clear their head. “Sense of Peace” would be their value. Another person may feel accomplished when they are active, so “Accomplishment” is their value.
Another person may be active because they know its important for their health, so “Health” is their value.
If you can’t live without connecting with friends/family/being around others, maybe “connection” or “community is a value of yours.
Watch for the next blog on how to meet these values in our daily lives. Ask yourself, how are you making sure that you get those values met?
Kimsey-House H & K, Sandhahl, P, Whitworth, L. “Co-Active Coaching: Changing Business Transforming Lives” 3rd Edition.